Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
