would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
