LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
soo... how was my night?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
