DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
