$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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