i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
