eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
