No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
only if we run a train.
done.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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