Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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