Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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