I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have fence marks all over my body
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
