If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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