at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
