I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
