Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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