But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
