I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I need moral support for this bender
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
