Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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