I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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