If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
