Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
