VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
