you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
