I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I looked at my own cervix.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
