hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
