In the future we'll all be gay
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
