a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
