I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
