It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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