he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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