btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
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