I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
