I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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