If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
