So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
