Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
