yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
