Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
