The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
