I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Boobs are out for the taking
My penis needs a shock collar
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
