We should be called the Road Head Warriors
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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