A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
