Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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