would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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