I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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