How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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