We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
