why didn't you poke me back
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
operation harelip BJ is a go
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
