My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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