Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
