come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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