She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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