idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
