Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
