remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
