Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
