And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I checked into jail on foursquare
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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