I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
