you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I want her autograph on my taint
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
